Melanie ajumma

My dirty laundry

2008-11-18T23:33:00.002+09:00

I've just been reading about hanging laundry to dry. It can apparently be quite a hot topic. Who knew? Since I'm the one who usually does the laundry for two people who have a lot of clothes but never anything to wear, the only taboo related to laundry in our house is if someone is all out of underpants. (gasp)

These days, all the cool kids seem to be talking about how clever it is to hang your laundry in order to 1)save on the electricity bill and 2)cut down on carbon emissions.

Now, I don't know about you, but when did people stop hanging up their clothes? Oh, I know, trends are always coming back into fashion but I know people who had the hairstyle the first time and persevered until they were back in style. Well, I guess I've just been the same way about hanging laundry to dry. It, um, works.

Recently I've come to discover something that I had no idea existed. It is something I have come to revile as much as littering and rudeness. Maybe even more! I have recently discovered that in some communities have elected, (chosen, hired, I don't know how they do it) groups of people who tell others who live in their communities what to do with their homes! One of the things they say is "not to be done" is HANG YOUR LAUNDRY OUT TO DRY!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously!

I assume that the idea is something to do with "unmentionables". I know, I know, how gauche and unsightly. However, I do wonder where these people think that clean clothes come from? The Laundry Fairy?

Pardon my ignorance, but I really do want to know what the consequences are for blatantly defying laundry guidelines and hanging your wet clothes willy-nilly in your very own backyard. What do these communities have to fear from their LAUNDRY POLICE? Is it possible, for example, to get off scot-free if, some unforeseen freak of nature cuts the power at the exact moment you were about to pull your wet laundry from the machine to put into the dryer and you happened to have a spare clothes line hanging around from days of yore.

I'm going to go so far as to spread the word that the idea of Laundry Police forbidding clothes lines in back yards actually decreases the property value of those homes. I don't know anyone would buy a home in one of these communities where they have to put up with this sort of nonsense. It's laundry, you hang it up to dry. It's not the end of the world. Get over it. There are more important things in the world to concern yourself with.

What would you have done?

2008-07-25T20:57:00.002+09:00

So, I arrive back at home yesterday morning and as I'm walking through the parking lot to my building, I see a young girl with her mother. The girl was about 13 years old and she was wearing a t-shirt with English written all over it. This is VERY POPULAR in Korea. It's friggin EVERYWHERE. Jae Cheol has recently taken to commenting about it anytime he watches a non-Korean movie or looks at a non-Korean website because of the absence of English t-shirts everywhere but Korea.

Well, yesterday I read this girl's shirt and my jaw dropped! Literally, right there in the parking lot. I went over to the mother and daughter and in stuttering Korean, because I was so shocked that I couldn't formulate a sentence, told them:

"Excuse me, your t-shirt. . . ! No, no, no! The English, it's not good. It's pervert English"

Naturally, the mother smiled and shuffled away from me because WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, CRAZY FOREIGNER? I really wanted to turn the daughter around, back to her house, make her change her clothes and confiscate her shirt. Instead, I just went to my apartment, feeling like a lunatic. Which is exactly how the mother perceived me.

The shirt said, "Everybody likes a slutty girl"

Ok, so maybe I overreacted. After all, not many people in Korea know what that means at all! But keep in mind that this was a sweet, innocent 13 year old girl. Immagine if she ever traveled abroad to an English speaking country with that t-shirt?!?!?!?! Obviously the odds of that happening are slim, but still. I told Jae Cheol when I got home and asked him if I should have just ignored it. He seemed to think that it was alright for me to have said something. After all, if someone is wearing an English t-shirt with the idea that no one will understand what it says, I have obviously just negated that idea. On the other hand, maybe I am just stuck in such an ESL Teacher rut that when I see something unusual in English, I HAVE to point it out. But I certainly wouldn't have said anything if the person wearing the shirt had been older than school age.

What would you/should I have done? (Funnily enough, I had just taught this grammar pattern that morning.)
Melanie - English Teacher

It's funny cause it's true

2008-07-25T20:52:00.000+09:00

As a 1930s wife, I am
Poor

http://www.magatsu.net/maritaltest/">Take the test!

Take the test, you KNOW you want to!

Hello. Hello?

2008-07-16T14:11:00.005+09:00

A typical phone call in Korea:

A: Hello
B: Hello?
A: Hello
B: Hello?
A: Hello
B: Hello?

It can go on like this for hours! Somebody, somewhere must have a record of how many times this has gone on. I think it's like 12 or 14 or something.

Am I the only one who thinks this is crazy? I mean seriously, if YOU call ME then you bloody well better spit out what you're wanted to say or I'm going to hang up! This happened to me yesterday and today. Two different phone calls. Who's giving my phone number to idiots?

Ah, my old nemisis, Juice!

2008-07-16T13:58:00.003+09:00

I hate juice. I really do. I rarely drink it. It's too sweet and it's too thick. It does not quench my thirst. I hate juice.

It's summer and very hot these days. All of the mothers at the houses that I visit are very sweet. We chat, we smile, we joke. They serve me juice! EVERY! SINGLE! MOTHER! I'm not joking. That's at least four glasses of juice a day. That's more empty juice calories than a fat girl needs.

Not only do I get juice, but usually the children do too. Great. Guess what happens to the juice the children drink. They choke on it, they blow bubbles in it, they spill it on me, they spill it on my stuff. They rarely spill it on themselves or each other.

I hate juice, but at least everyone has stopped feeding me! I used to get fed at every house. Now I only get juice.

Read to the end

2008-07-07T22:41:00.004+09:00

I discovered the most fantastic thing today and all I had to do to find this lovely thing is take all my clothes off! (Keep reading)

The only reason I haven't found out before now is that I was shy. I was expecting people to stare at me and to feel really uncomfortable. It wasn't that bad and I'm going to do it again soon, cause it was great. (Keep reading)

I went to the gym today and instead of coming home to shower, which I usually do, I used the bath house at the gym. Public bathing in Korea is hugely popular and is more often than not, a social activity. I've gone a couple of times with my in-laws, (just the girls,) and once or twice with friends. Since I'm Canadian I wasn't immediately comfortable about the public nudity and since I'm Canadian and quite fat, I don't blend in as much as I'd like to when I'm naked in a public bath house in Korea.

Well, today I decided to just bloody do it, it's only a shower after all. Since it's so incredibly hot now, I couldn't imagine walking home from the gym in the HOT sun covered in sweat which is what I did previously. Well guess what I found? Korean bath houses have different tubs with water of different temperatures, usually three: hot, really hot and really cold. Well, to my delight, the really cold tub was HUGE. Longer than my parents' swimming pool! I did laps! My body temperature finally went down to normal temperatures. It was fantastic. Not only that, but someone actually smiled at me while I was there! Take that! As a result, I'm in love with the gym and more importantly, the bath house. I'm going again on Wednesday.

Super Melanie

2008-07-02T11:06:00.002+09:00

If I was a superhero, my power would almost certainly be an incredible, unwavering power to complain non-stop. I really do believe in "if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all" The problem with this though, is that now I have absolutely nothing to say.

I have tonsillitis - maybe

2008-06-30T19:09:00.002+09:00

So, I went to the doctor, finally, again and I told him I had a sore throat for two weeks. He looked in my throat. Then I asked if I should be tested for strep throat. He said he couldn't do it there. Ok. Where? A general hospital. Ok. (I have no idea what that means.)

I told him my glands hurt, or rather, showed him. Actually, that's the only place that hurts and I was surprised that he didn't check after looking in my throat. He explained that something, something lymph glands, something something tonsillitis. I asked if I had tonsillitis. He sort of laughed (or did he say yes?) Then he said "medicine, two days" with no further instructions. When I picked up my prescription from the nurse, she said if I feel better after two days, not to come back.

I DON'T GET IT! If I have something resembling tonsillitis, do they really believe it will be cured with TWO DAYS WORTH OF MEDICATION?

Oh, wait a minute. . . . I think I may finally have the answer! It must be MAGIC MEDICINE! Yes, yes, that's it!

Aarggh, grrrr

2008-06-30T11:42:00.002+09:00

Am I sick or am I just lazy? Seriously, I can't quite tell although, I think I might be a little of both. I don't feel really rotten. I just have a sore (kind of) throat and I'm lazy. There you go, those are my symptoms, so you can tell why I'm not quite sure. Or can you? (ha ha a little ambiguity joke)

Smile

2008-06-24T00:07:00.002+09:00

I had the best Sunday in recent memory yesterday and today, I joined a gym, went to yoga, made a new friend and was pleasant to all of my students today.
I am a superstar.
More sunshine and sparkles to follow . . .

Married, yes. Children, no.

2008-06-20T00:34:00.003+09:00

People keep asking me if I have kids. If I ever do anything the least bit unusual, people who know me ask if I'm pregnant. It's starting to crack me up. I think I may start doing stuff just to fuck with their minds. I'm not sure what yet, but I've got to come up with something. This is an opportunity that cannot be passed up.

2008-06-19T11:24:00.004+09:00

Last night, I couldn't sleep because I had so many fantastic thoughts, plans, schemes, things not to forget (but don't worry, how could I forget this, it's brilliant), in my head.

This morning, I have no idea what any of it was.

Come on brain! Don't quit on me now!!!!!!!

2008-06-12T13:07:00.002+09:00

I'm sick. I have a sore throat, so I went to the doctor just in case. Well, the doctor looked in my throat and up my nose and proceeded to write me a prescription for TWO DAYS worth of antibiotics. Then he told me that if I take the medication and feel better, then I don't need to continue.

WTF????????

Every time I go to the doctor's for an illness, this is the kind of treatment I get. "Take this medicine for three days and come back if you don't feel any better." Stupid!

I've decided not to take the medicine at all.

I'm sick, so I'm not any more eloquent than that.

The end.

Personal Best

2008-05-02T10:01:00.003+09:00

Yes, yes, yes, long time no post, yadda yadda yadda.

Last Thursday I inadvertently caused two kids, in two different classes to blow drinks out of their noses. A personal best.

Ulsan, South Korea an environmental abomination! I recently saw a banner declaring "Automobile Day" for something like May 16-19. Way to go Ulsan! I'm not sure exactly what will be happening on Automobile Day but title just brings images to mind of a campaign where people are encouraged to just get out there and drive. Even if you don't have any where to go, you can turn on the car and rev it a little bit.

I'm always delighted by Ulsan's attempts un-PC attempts to promote culture with it's festivals and special days: Environment in trouble? Well, lets have an automobile day. People love driving their cars, don't they? It's convenient. Whaling a sore issue? Well, lets have a festival celebrating our whaling heritage. We'll hold it at our Whale Museum, which, don't let the name fool you, it's not actually about whales, is about catching them and eating them.

My parents are coming to Ulsan at the end of May for two weeks. It's gonna blow their minds! Now, I'm gonna go out and drive around in preparation for automobile day!

The latest craze

2007-10-24T23:47:00.000+09:00

In another example of random stupidity, today my co-worker said, as we were blowing up balloons for halloween, "You know, this is really good for losing weight."

WTF?

May I take your order?

2007-10-24T23:14:00.000+09:00

I've gotten a Costco card and have made a few (four hour, round trip) forays into Costco in Daegu to get my delicious and necessary foreign foods. Hey, if I'm doing the cooking, we better have industrial size jars of spaghetti sauce and whatever else catches my fancy whilst shopping.
During the most recent trip, I ate in the ugly little food court, which is always jam-packed. The food is the same, (I'm assuming,) as in the Costco food courts at home. I assume this because it is standard foreign food court fare. There is one twist however, and it has nothing to do with Costco's attempt to be culturally sensitive, or to appeal to the Korean market. This difference is onions.
What are you talking about Melanie?
Here it is:
Costco serves delicious-looking hot dogs in their food court. Not everyone likes onions on their hot dogs, so there is the option to help yourself to the onions. The onions are available from a very nifty looking machine which has a handle that you crank to chop the whole onion into little, hot dog friendly sized bits. (Am I being too technical?)

Here's a bit of background information on Korean meals. Korean meals consist of main dishes and side dishes which all come in their own separate dish and are served at the same time and eaten communally. (You get your own rice. Don't touch anyone else's rice.) Korean meals always have something sour to eat with their meal and quite often, there are certain side dishes that are always served with a particular meal. For example, you ALWAYS get a little dish of pickles when you order pizza. ALWAYS. I don't know who decided that pickles were going to be it for pizza, but there you go. It has been decided and therefore, it is so. ALWAYS. In fact, if the pizza people forgot the pickles, you would phone them back to let them know that they were missing which would result in a separate, apologetic delivery of pickles.

Well, although Costco food seems to be palatable to the shopping masses in Daegu which is evident by the crowded food court, Costco and Korea have a little misunderstanding. Costco doesn't know about the side dishes and from what I've seen, many people will not put up with no side dishes. What has resulted is this: patrons of the Costco food court have taken matters into their own hands and are eating POUNDS AND POUNDS OF ONIONS BECAUSE COSTCO DOESN'T HAVE PICKLES WITH IT'S PIZZA.

Yes, it's true. More than one person has stood at the nifty onion machine and cranked out more than their share of onion bits, (meant for hot dogs, as previously mentioned,) onto a large plate for consumption as a side dish. It's insanity and I wonder if it really is necessary. It also leads to a second question which is, what would these same people not eat? I mean, seriously, if there was a little machine there that served something like, oh I don't know, . . . fingernails, and there were no pickles, would the fingernails be gobbled up as quickly? I even saw one table with their onions covered in mustard. Not just a dollop, mind you, I'm talking marinated, coated and smothered. That, to me is an obvious sign of someone saying, "Well, I did the best I could, . . . "

Everytime I think of this ridiculous situation, I really do smile and laugh a little to myself and the reason for it is the misunderstanding. Being a foreigner, I am therefore the resident example and expert and for all things foreign. I am frequently astounded at how easily assumptions are made. (Yes, I know I do it too and I am making an effort not to play the "us and them" game.) This example, I am CERTAIN, has given someone an opinion about something to do with foreigners/foreign food/foreign onions or whatever. The hilarity of the situation, (to me,) is that I can almost see it in cartoon form: a western costco employee staring down a patron of the food court, eating their most delicious onions and a little bubble over each of their heads reading, "What the fuck are you thinking?!?!?!"

Who knows, maybe you have to live here to appreciate it.

Quit your whining!

2007-10-23T08:18:00.000+09:00

When we were in Canada, my dad taught Jae Cheol a very valuable phrase which he has since repeated to me over a thousand times. That very useful and helpful phrase is, "Don't be a wussy."

Yes, that's right, "Don't be a wussy." I silently thank my father every time I hear it from my husband's mouth. (That is, if you can call rolling your eyes a thank you.) Well, no more! I'm finally, for the first time in my life, going to take their very helpful advice and stop being a wussy. That's right, no more whining! Why this sudden about face, you ask? Well, I don't know if it's the weather, (I prefer fall to the painful humidity of summer,) or if I'm finally going insane. But hey, I'm just going to (try to) suck it up and be more positive. My life really is pretty good. It's not perfect, but hey for goodness sake, I feel priviledged to be happy, healthy, loved, in love, working, clothed and fed. I'm one of the luckiest girls on the planet if you ask me.

I'm even going to stop giving the people the finger while driving! A lofty goal, indeed.

Look at this little boy, he's cute right? Well, it turns out that he's also rather sneaky.

Recently, when his grandfather, (my father-in-law) was visiting and went out into the hall to have a cigarette. While he was out there, Dong Jun went to the door, closed it and locked it! That's right! Take that, grandfather! This is my house and I want you out! Hilarious.

Homework Assignment

2007-10-16T10:45:00.000+09:00

Yes, it's true. I haven't updated this blog for at least 75 thousand years. Why, you ask. Well it's because it feels too much like homework. Yes, that's right, HOMEWORK! I'm a teacher, I know all about homework but it appears that I can dish it out, but I CAN'T TAKE IT! (Don't tell my students!)

And, I'm a whiner. I don't have anything to say because I can't think of anything nice to say. It's true. Call me, go ahead. I have nothing to say unless you want to hear me whining. That's why I don't talk on the phone. Or email. I apologize. I am boring. The most exciting thing in my life these days is that I got the laundry done and actually cooked something. Yes, it's true I miraculously accomplished both of these things! And I DON'T EVEN HAVE CHILDREN to slow me down!

This leads me to my next question, how does anybody do it? Are people not sleeping? Do people have those magical elves that helped the shoemaker, and they're not telling me how to get them? The elves would scoff at me and run off to help those more deserving, with bigger shopping lists and piles of laundry.

So, to all of you out there in the world with lives and hobbies, friends and children, my hat is off to you! You are my heroes, idols and my superiors! I am humbled by your great deeds and envious of your superhero-like strength. You are amazing.

In other news, I did get a chance to visit Melissa, Hayden and Dong Jin last weekend. It was fantastic. And ridiculous. I am no longer allowed to travel by myself however because when I attempted to return to Ulsan, I mistakenly 1)missed my train because I was shopping, and then 2) got on the wrong train when I got my new ticket. Not wrong train as in, wrong direction, thank goodness but wrong as in slow and not the super-fast KTX. I am train-impaired. Bus I can handle, but not the train. I give up.

In other, other news, I am an aunt again! It's wonderful. Being an aunt is totally my speed. I am the favorite because I always have small toys in my bag when I visit. Sadly, my fame does have it's limits, as illustrated by this conversation a few weeks ago when I visited Dong Jun:

Jae Cheol: "Dong Jun, who do you like more, mom or Melanie?"

Dong Jun: "Melanie"

Jae Cheol: "who do you like more, dad or Melanie?"

Dong Jun: "Melanie"

Jae Cheol: "why do you like Melanie?"

Dong Jun: shrug, "cars" (I bought him some cars at the dollar store)

Jae Cheol: "who do you like more, Melanie or Power Rangers?"

Dong Jun: looking from side to side with a sheepish look "Power Rangers"

CURSES! THOSE POWER RANGERS HAVE FOILED ME YET AGAIN!

Here is my NEW NEPHEW whom I intend to spoil as much as possible. He doesn't have a name yet but Dong Jun likes me more than him, too.

Oh, one more thing. Funny story:

On Saturday I walk into a washroom in a public building, that I have used before and definitely know which one is the ladies and therefore the one I should use. As I walk in, a lady starts shouting something. I think she is shouting, "Is this the women's washroom?" She shouts twice. I walk into the only stall and discover that it doesn't lock, so I walk out of the bathroom to go to the other one upstairs. As I leave, I point out to the shouter, the sign on the door that says "women" thinking that I'm being helpful. As I look at her, she says, "oh, you're a girl."

It turns out that she had been shouting, "That is the women's washroom!" to me, who she thought was a man.

Thanks, lady. I'm going to begin growing my hair tomorrow.

My question is, should I be insulted or should Korean men? After all, I'm not terribly masculine and if I can be mistaken for a man, what does that say about the masculinity and fashion choices of young Korean men? HA, take that!

Ch-ching

2007-08-02T08:52:00.000+09:00

Uh-oh, Jae Cheol's mother thinks we're rich. I knew the whole family thought so when we came back from Canada. After all, we had just traveled a lot and Jae Cheol had spent the year studying instead of working. Jae Cheol's mom though, the other day when he was talking about renting an apartment here eventually, said something like, "That's going to be quite expensive, maybe Melanie has a secret stash of cash somewhere!"

Oh shit.

I've asked him to explain the concept of our budgeting to her. He probably won't. I don't like this misconception, it could be dangerous and it makes me uncomfortable.

In other news, I am more and more in love with my nephew every time I see him. He calls me "Meyani", he says "no" in English and he can use the internet unaided! He's two and a half!

I'm already there

2007-06-25T22:38:00.000+09:00

I read a CBC article about the European Space Agency looking for volunteers to go on a simulated voyage to Mars. Part of the article describing what will happen on the voyage made me wonder if people were watching me. It's as if they were talking about my life in Korea! I need to get out more!

Weightlessness and radiation are not included, but the simulated
out-of-planet experience offers isolation, confinement, crowding, lack of
privacy, high workload, boredom with available food, and limited communication
with family, friends and mission control.

Nothing exciting, just chickens

2007-06-25T19:11:00.000+09:00

Actually, I don't think there's anything else interesting about this story. (That could, however, be because I've been in Korea for a long time.)

The chickens belong to our neighbor/owner of the building. They are being raised on the roof I can hear them peeping and it makes me giggle everytime.

In the spring, children sometimes come home with baby chicks because people wait outside their school and sell them for the equivalent of 50 cents. And who can resist a baby chick? Not children with money in their pockets, that's for sure. Why just a few weeks ago I saw a student outside of the school down the hall from mine hanging up her clear plastic bag full of baby chick, on the bulletin board to be picked up after class.

Who am I to judge? My brother used to keep frogs in his pocket and once put on in a jar in the fridge. Dunno why, he just did.

2007-06-17T00:19:00.001+09:00

Jae Cheol opened our apartment door today and said, "Oh! Chickens."
This is what he saw:

You may think I'm joking

2007-06-03T00:42:00.000+09:00

There are many differences between Korea and Canada, not least of all in the education system, (don't get me started!). Here is a striking example: our new Korean teacher, pinches the children's nipples if they don't do their homework. Not sure about the girls, but definitely the boys.

I KID YOU NOT!

I've been doing some thinking, . . .

2007-05-13T10:42:00.000+09:00

One of my (favorite) classes has a special technique that they use when they're asking me for a favor. If we have an extra five minutes or if they particularily don't want to do something, they have learned the art of asking nicely. It goes something like this:

"Teacher, let's play Uno!"
"Well, I don't know, we still have five minutes, . . . "
"Please, pretty Tinkerbell!"

I'm not joking, they really say that! We a request like that, how can I refuse?!

I was watching tv the other day and I happened to see a program on the English language Korean channel. It was an interview with two Psychology professors discussing psycho-analysis. They inevitably talked about the recent shooting at Virginia Tech and how psycho-analysis could or could not have predicted the shooting. One of the interviewees mentioned that one of the warning signs was when the shooter closed himself off from society and stopped communicating with others. He said something about how when this happens, it's a sign that an individual is no longer socialized to the environment around him. (It was something like this. I can't, obviously, remember the exact wording and professionals may be laughing their heads off/rolling in their graves as I type.)

Anyway, as a result of the show, I decided to get off my arse and actively pursue a social life. When Jae Cheol is working at nights, I come home and spend a lonely night by myself. Well, no more! One of the consequences of a language barrier is a feeling of isolation or separation from the rest of society. When the only interaction I have with Koreans is negative, (see previous post,) it is easy to feel picked on and persecuted. Well, I obviously can't change their behaviour, but I can change mine, which will in turn, affect how I react to assholes. In short, I am going on the assumption that if I am happier, I won't be as bothered when people are jerks. Well, we'll see about that.

Living in a homogeneous society

2007-05-09T23:15:00.000+09:00

I went to the gym this morning and really enjoyed myself. I felt good emotionally and physically. As I was walking down the stairs after work today, a middle-school boy I don't know walked behind me singing, "it's the Big Show" over and over again.

Being a foreigner in Korea means that people stare and comment about me on a daily basis. Being an overweight foreigner means that people occasionally say nasty hurtful things to me. It's very hard to take. I don't know how long I want to stay in Korea now. I am a good person and this repeated verbal abuse that I receive regularily is just not worth it. It makes me defensive and nasty. I don't recognize myself in how angry I have become. When I listen to myself speak to other people in my day to day life, I know that they are hearing a bitter, nasty person.

Possibly the funniest thing I've ever heard.

2007-04-30T23:57:00.000+09:00

"Teacher, who is Jae Cheol?"
"My husband."
"Teacher, married?"
"Yes."
"Teacher, baby?"
"No."
"Teacher, why? When married?"
"2005."
"What? Teacher, why no baby? You're really married?"

Baby in the house

2007-04-30T23:46:00.000+09:00

My tiny little sweetie pie and his mom came to visit us at our place.

He touched everything, rounded up anything that was brightly coloured and put it in a bag because it was now his. I couldn't believe the carnage and had to have a nap after he left.

The next day I woke up and I missed him already. He's perfect. I taught him how to use a water gun! This is what qualifies me as an aunt and not a mum.

Nah-nah-nah-nah Nah-nah-nah-nah FISHING!

2007-04-30T23:20:00.000+09:00

It's a little lake but it's pretty. We want to get in there.

This is what the boat looks like after three trips from the car. The instructions say it only takes 10 minutes to assemble. Excellent, lets get going.

The friggin thing is huge! An hour later, we were ready to go. Damn good thing we didn't bother trying it in the apartment like we (ahem, not me, just him) suggested.

It works! We're boating AND catching fish!

The news we've all been waiting for, . . .

2007-04-11T20:45:00.000+09:00

The agonizing wait is over. The winner is, . . .

It was so confusing because everything was in Korean

2007-04-08T20:37:00.000+09:00

Well thank goodness for Melissa. Whenever I have a problem in Korea, she's the one to ask, since it's often the case that she's encountered it too and already figured out the solution.

Did you know, that Melissa was the first person who was nice to me in Korea? Well, it's true. After a harrowing 50 or so hours in this new and strange land, having been unceremoniously dumped, or rather, "dropped off" by my director on Thurs night and told that I start Monday, I had begun talking to myself and was convinced that another few hours might actually see me losing my mind.

The potent sewer smell, the humidity, the typhoon, the jet lag and that weird sound that I could hear coming from a neighboring apartment's ventilation duct that sounded like bicycle brakes, had all begun to take their toll. I was quickly going mad.

I had just walked to the beach, (not the lovely local you would imagine, so don't get your hopes up,) and thought I would take a chance and speak to the two white girls I saw walking there with young Korean guys. When I said, "hello, do you speak English?" and was told in reply "No." I was really confused and began walking home. On the way, I saw two other white girls walking in my direction. I nearly didn't bother saying hello, but in the end I did and thank goodness for that. When they replied that they did speak English, I burst into tears. That's when Melissa took me under her wing.

So, to make a long story short, Melissa came to the rescue once again to explain to me how to change the language from Korean to English so that I could figure out what Blogger was trying to tell me every time I wanted to post. So there. Or, so here. I am. Back.

New title, An ode to Melissa

If you think that's crazy, . . .

2007-02-04T10:24:00.000+09:00

. . . I just saw, on tv, a show called a "fake reality show". I'm not even going to dignify that with a comment.

Once again proving my point that I am living in the land that logic forgot.

You want me to do what?

2007-01-27T21:12:00.000+09:00

My question for you is this: Does weird shit happen at home, but I just don't realize it's weird?

Jae Cheol got a phone call today from an old friend he hadn't seen in ages. This friend needed his help, or more specifically, his wife's help. That would be me.

Apparently, the friend is getting married in July. The thing is, his fiance has an ex-boyfriend who just doesn't get it. This guy has, can you believe it, called her! Why did they need my help, you ask. Well, apparently this guy is Chinese, studying in New Zealand, which is where the girl met him. I had to call this guy to explain in English why he could no longer call the girl. I was required to explain that this message had been passed down from the girl's father. The crazy thing is that it had! Yes, that's right, the father had taken Jae Cheol's friend aside to ask him to speak to the ex-boyfriend because he wanted to "protect his family."

So I called the guy and I felt like a rat the entire time I was talking to him. Jae Cheol tried all night to talk some sense into his "friend", especially after he told us that now he doesn't trust his girlfriend and is getting back at her by having a little something on the side!

This is all too much for me. I'm going to go spend some time reading Us Magazine. Celebrity entertainment is going to be a relaxing walk in the park compared to this lunacy.

Garden variety

2007-01-22T21:51:00.000+09:00

Plants, plants, plants. I FINALLY bought some plants. I have been meaning to do it for quite some time now, but I just didn't make it a priority. Well, now I've gone and done it. I went to a lovely greenhouse near my school and bought three plants. I've also got my eye on a dozen more . . . and a tree. I love the smell of a greenhouse. It's not so much a smell as perfect air. A house (or tiny bachelor apartment,) is not a home without plants.

From the Botanical Garden Greenhouse in Montreal.

The Finished Product

2007-01-21T21:10:00.000+09:00

Yes, that's right, it's very bare. We didn't have much choice as to where to put the furniture due to drafty windows and cable/electricity outlets. Whatever, it's nice because there's lots of space and I don't feel squished and cramped. Now that we've "unpacked" we're probably going to have to move next weekend. Mark my words, . . .

I just finished reading Beauty Tips from Moose Jaw by Will Ferguson. I really enjoyed it. I haven't seen much of Canada and this book has planted the seeds of an idea. It's fun being a tourist in your own country, especially since Canada is bigger than most countries. The best thing about the book is that it tells you the history of the places that the author writes about. That's exactly what I want to know when I'm traveling. I'm just going to stop talking because I'm not very articulate at 9:13pm. It's time to go to bed. Read this book and read too, The Lizard Cage by Karen Connelly. It will make you cry. I also bought Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood and it is a scary book. The environment's going to hell in a handbasket and this is where we're headed. I couldn't finish it. Too scary.

Any book suggestions? I don't want fluff, I want something intelligent. (This Book Will Change Your Life notwithstanding.)

Found it

2007-01-21T17:24:00.000+09:00

A-ha! Mr. I-don't-know-where-it-is-I-didn't-see-it-or-touch-it and I have (finally) unpacked our boxes and decorated (a little bit). It's a wonderful feeling to be able to find all of my stuff but oh my goodness do I have a lot of stuff!

In the process of unpacking etc, we came across our camera cord, surprise, surprise. It "somehow" ended up in a box on the veranda. Here are the long awaited pictures of everything important.

First of all, the ever exciting Dong Jun, 2-year-old extrodinaire!

Then Kumiko and Sung Hyuk who were in Jae Cheol's English class in Canada.

Friends of Jae Cheol's getting married. They didn't know we were back and therefore got a surprised picture of the bride saying, and I quote, "oh, Melanie!"

Just for fun, looking forward to my 31th birthday next year!

(After finding the camera cord, it was then time to look for the actual camera in our newly reorganized apartment. Do you think we could find it? No. Do you think I blamed Jae Cheol? Yes. Do you think it was actually his fault? Not this time. . .)

Random thoughts

2007-01-16T09:32:00.000+09:00

In no particular order:

I love my eyebrows these days
celebrity news entertainment makes me LAUGH
we're out of cereal, a point which I only remember when I wake up in the morning so far away from a grocery store
everything on my computer's in Korean
I wonder what kind of stuff there is to see and do in Hong Kong for a weekend, . . .

Hayden, glorious Hayden!

2007-01-14T09:39:00.000+09:00

I went to visit Melissa, Dong Jin and Hayden yesterday and the baby is absolutely even perfecter in person! Seriously, she's gorgeous, hilarious and smart as a fox. Alas, no camera cord so no pictures.

2007-01-12T08:35:00.000+09:00

I want to throw a big, fat, hysterical, kicking, screaming, crying tantrum. I am so angry and it's all my f*#%ing fault.

Our computer died in Canada but before it did, I "copied" all of our pictures onto a cd. Turns out, I didn't. It didn't happen. The cd and my computer lied. I got nothin'. Nothing.

Hence the tantrum.

F2

2007-01-07T22:46:00.000+09:00

I forgot to mention that I got my wife-visa with no hassle. All we did was show up and present the required documents. I got the visa and my ID card ten days later. In two years I will automatically become a landed immigrant. Very exciting.

uh oh, I have an idea, . . .

2007-01-07T22:15:00.000+09:00

I've been looking at my pictures from Cambodia and Vietnam recently and I'm getting itchy feet again! (Don't tell my mom!!!!!!!) Update: Mom, don't worry. I'm not going anywhere.

It's true, I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. Well, not another country that is. We may actually be moving soon. Or at least, that's what I've been led to believe. Jae Cheol and I are currently living in a bachelor apartment again but we've been told that should something bigger become available in the spring, we're going to move then. Well, that IS good, great and wonderful except for the fact that I want to unpack, decorate and make curtains NOW.

When we were in Canada I didn't really decorate cause I knew it was only going to be for a year. I absolutely restrained myself from buying housewares and that wasn't easy because I LOVE buying housewares. It just didn't make sense since I knew we were going to have to come back with all of our stuff packed into baggage restrictions. Well that is no longer the case now and I want to become domestic. I want to buy a comfy chair for reading and put it in the perfect spot. I want to invite people over and serve them delicious drinks or nachos. I want to have a place to put all of my linens and have enough hangers and closet space. The problem is that I'M STILL LIVING OUT OF A FRIGGEN' SUITCASE AND IT'S MAKING ME CRAZY!

I may just go ahead and decorate. TAKE THAT! My sanity's at stake here. And besides, moving from one house to another in the same city only requires putting everything you have into as many boxes as it takes. I can handle that. I won't mind doing it. It's the baggage restrictions and having to carry it all with you at once that's unappealing and will never be repeated, this I vow. (I had to, Jae Cheol made me do it.) Yes, that's right. I will never move all of my stuff from one country to another again! I won't have to, I've discoverd the convenience of international shipping. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Oh yeah, I still can't find the computer cord so there will be no new pictures at this time.

Lazy arse

2007-01-05T18:09:00.000+09:00

I haven't been as inspired to blog since I stopped being forced to sit in front of the computer everyday. Well, that's not true, I wrote something truly funny and inspirational with a picture of the grandfather-baby, but apparently Blogger disapproved and destroyed it. Let's try again.

First update: I turned 30, Yippee.

Jae Cheol and I arrived in Korea on the eve of my 30th b.day. We decided to drink immediately after bringing our giant luggage up to the 4th floor walk up. Apparently we were so excited to be back in Korea that we drank ourselves stupid and my actual birthday was spent in my new apartment's bathroom. Happy Birthday to me.

(Please note the thousands of bottles of soju on the table. I'm surprised I'm not blind!)

Well, I've fully recovered and am really enjoying my new job here in Korea. I took this job because I had a feeling that I would enjoy working here and it's all working out swimmingly. Jeff and Julia are both wonderful teachers and really supportive and fun to work with. I have a key to the school and I sometimes come in early to prepare extra stuff for my classes. It's exactly how I thought it would be. *sigh*

Jae Cheol and I have visited the fam at least every weekend and they are a riot. Well, mostly the baby is a riot. I've nicknamed him "screamy baby". That's because every time I visit, the first time he sees me he screams with delight! There's no better sound than that, let me tell you! I have translated it into: "oh goody, the fun is here!" I will post all of the pictures that I have taken of him when I find the camera-computer cord.

Jae Cheol is currently searching for a job. He's had two interviews and is stressed out like I've never seen him. He is also obsessed with keeping our (bachelor) apartment clean. Everytime I leave the house, the stuff I had gets put away in weird places, (hence not being able to find the camera-computer cord.) I only thank him for his cleaning because I'm afraid he may explode otherwise.

I am definitely happy about my decision to come back to Korea. The job says it all. I miss everybody though and you know who you are. Big kisses!

An Embarrassment of Riches

2006-11-28T22:41:00.000+09:00

Since we have been packing and getting ready to move to Korea, we're trying to get rid of everything. The other day some of our old clothes found their way to reception house in Ottawa where new immigrants stay when they first arrive.

A classmate of Jae Cheol's who is a Burmese refugee has kept in contact with the reception house and they call him anytime there is a new arrival from Burma. Last night he came to our house with a new arrival who had been in Canada for 40 days. Apparently he and 19 members of his family came to Canada after living in a refugee camp on the Thai border for over 10 years. He is 27 years old and is married with three little kids. We were able to give him some kitchen things and a tv.

When they left, I cried. It was the most humbling experience of my life. I wanted to do more. I have never felt so guilty in my life about the privileges that I was born to. I have never been hungry. I have never had to fear for my safety or that of my family. I have never had to flee from my home. I don't know exactly what this family has been through, I only know that they were very happy to take what we could give them, however embarrassingly meager, mismatched and used they were.

I heard a radio program about two women in Ottawa who pick up gently used furniture and distribute it to newly arrived immigrants. They make pickups every Wednesday night by appointment. They can be contacted via email at helpingwithfurniture(at)hotmail.com. If you live in Ottawa, maybe you'll one day be in a position to contact these ladies and donate something.

2006-11-25T05:32:00.000+09:00

Now that I'm ready to go back to work in Korea, I'm wondering whether or not it would be possible to squeeze a little sun and surf in somewhere. It's absolutely not going to happen, but one can always dream, (while checking out airfares when one should be filing, . . . )

2006-11-25T00:38:00.000+09:00

I did it! I got a job! I'm employed in Korea! I'm ecstatic!

Well, finally. I chose a job with a school owned by an American man and his Korean wife. It sounds really exciting and I think I'll probably be able to be really creative in my classes. It also sounds like it's going to be a lot of work. The thing is though, that doesn't bother me. I'm excited about it. I'm going to be in cut and paste HEAVEN!!!!!! Crafternoon, anyone? I already have plans for a Christmas craft day before the Christmas long weekend. Jet lag, schmet-schmag, let me at the students!!!!!!!! I will be singing a totally different tune in a couple of months, naturally, but for the moment, I'm so excited!

Ai-go (for lack of an appropriate swear word)

2006-11-17T22:28:00.000+09:00

I seem to have no problem getting interviews. And during the interviews, the recruiters seem impressed. The problem is the recruiters are usually in Seoul and the schools are in Ulsan. Then there's a delay between, "I'd like to offer you the job" and them getting back to me with contracts and instructions for visas etc. Either that or they suffer trama to the brain right after talking to me. I hate to say that this is typical for Korea, but for goodness sake! I honestly have to do it all myself! I recently had an email from an idiot, (recruiter) telling me that if I didn't come to Korea with an E2 visa, I wouldn't be reimbursed for my plane ticket. Well obviously, but I cannot give myself an E2 visa, stupid arse. The school has to start the ball rolling and give me an offer, send me a contract to sign, etc. It's really getting frustrating.

I AM going to have to do everything myself, as usual. What I've decided to do, is get an F2 or spouse visa to avoid stupidity. Well, that's a great idea in theory, but now the problem is finding the information on what's required for an F2 visa. I don't think anyone knows! It's not available anywhere.

Now, I know what you're thinking; the information must be there in Korean and you just can't find it Melanie, because you don't speak Korean. HA! If only it was as simple as that.

I asked Jae Cheol to call the embassy to get the information. They told him they would call back in 20 minutes. After 30 minutes went by with no call, he called them to ask. He was told to call back in another 30 minutes! When he finally spoke to someone who seemed to have some sort of clue, he didn't seem to sure of himself. Jae Cheol would ask if pictures were required, for example and the guy would say something like, "oh yes, you're right, you should bring pictures". This happened more than once. Apparently I also need a bank statement and a record of employment! Yeah, cause that's relevant as to whether or not I'm married to a Korean!

As a result of all this lunacy, I bought a giant bottle of stress formula B vitamins last night. I don't know if they're going to do the trick though, when you're dealing with people like the genius that called last night at midnight!!!!!! "Tell her to check her email" was the message he left with poor sleeping Ji Hye, who lives in the living room. The only problem is, HE DIDN'T SEND ONE! Come on, people!!!! Let's get it together! We can do this!

Tonight I'm going to stop by the LCBO, pick up some lovely dark rum, have a sleep-over at Theresa and Josh's house and all will be right by morning. *sigh*

2006-11-17T01:29:00.000+09:00

Another baby comb-over because it's funny and cute at the same time. I love this baby, I want to gobble him up!

Dreaming of blue skies

2006-11-16T22:44:00.000+09:00

It hasn't stopped raining in Ottawa in about a thousand years. It's really beginning to get on my nerves, as well as into my shoes. It's getting to the point where I don't even remember what a sunny, blue sky looks like. Once, last week on a morning when it wasn't raining, I went outside and felt like something strange was happening. It took me a while to realise that the strange thing was the absence of rain.

Job search continues, as does stress.

What was I thinking?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

2006-11-16T00:00:00.000+09:00

Who in their right mind would move for just one year???? It's the most ridiculous thing to do! Actually, wait a minute, no it's not, the MOST ridiculous thing to do is to move to another country with specific luggage restrictions and no prospect of apartment or job. Yes, that's the MOST ridiculous thing, by far.

I think this whole fiasco is going to end up shortening my lifespan somewhat. Look at Snoopy, (my little brother named him when he was ten, okay?) Snoops is 14 or so, and he looks fantastic. I think his secret must be that he's never really even left the house.

I HATE moving!

Golden Boy

2006-11-09T22:52:00.000+09:00

Have you ever met anyone who seems to do things effortlessly? You know the person that I'm talking about, the one who can wear white shirts for longer than 4 minutes without spilling stuff on them. The one who looks cute in hats. The one who people make special exceptions for, even when they shouldn't. Well, I am married to that person! I love him, but I'm jealous as hell!

I have sort of a superiority complex. I can't help it, I'm the oldest child. Since birth, I have always secretly enjoyed being the smartest, the tallest, the strongest, etc. And it has always galled me when I'm not. In those situations, I would be forced to snap out of my lethargy and make an effort in order to compete. No fun, you say? Well, you're right, but these things usually pass. Then I met Jae Cheol.

He's clever, he's smart, he's open minded and he's inquisitive. In my family, we love learning and figuring things out and finding solutions. It's what we do. Since we've been in Canada, Jae Cheol's had the chance to spend lots of time with my family and he really fits in well. Now he's turned into a superstar.

I'll give you an example:

We are currently trying to sublet our apartment to avoid paying for the month of December when we're moving to Korea. I have been on the phone daily to the landlord, the super, potential subletters. I placed an add on the internet, I've made arrangements for people to come take a look, I've asked all of our neighbors in the building.

Jae Cheol found our subletter on Saturday!

A friend of his dropped by and brought another guy with him. This other guy ended up taking the apartment. It was as simple as, "do you want to move in next month?" "yes, I do"

How does he do it? The man has the friggin golden touch! And he's cute, too!

Kids - I don't have any of my own but I see 'em everywhere

2006-11-09T02:55:00.000+09:00

This is a picture of my nephew Dong Jun, who I haven't seen since December of last year. Since the last time I saw him, he has learned to walk, started speaking and decided to style his hair in a baby comb-over. Yes, he is a fashion icon as you can see by the picture of him below, sporting his new line: grandfather wear for babies.

This picture is a few months old. When I finally see him next month in Korea, I expect he will be wearing tweed, smoking a pipe and walking around with his hands clasped behind his back. I can't wait to see him again because I think that I'll really enjoy being an aunt.

There's another baby on the scene these days, who I haven't even had the chance to meet yet. Her name is Hayden Violet Lee and apparently she is "the perfectest" baby on the planet. I'm thinking of setting her up with Dong Jun. I'm trying to steal pictures from Melissa's blog, but I don't know how so you're going to have to go there to see her. She really is sweet, I can't believe how cute she is. It almost makes me want to have a baby, almost.

This is Melissa's blog http://www.koreangoldfish.blogspot.com/ I love at it about four times a day because she's so pretty and because I'm at work and I can.

The calm before the land of the morning calm

2006-11-08T23:34:00.000+09:00

Well, here we go again! Korea, or as I lovingly used to refer to it; the land that logic forgot!

I got an email today from my potential employer saying that they're going to pay me more since I won't be living in the housing that they provide. WHOA EVERYBODY!!!!! SLOW DOWN JUST A MINUTE! That's not what I said. I said that since I'm arriving at least two weeks earlier than when my contract would begin, I'll be able to stay with family for that amount of time. That's what I said!

Let's get a few things clear here: we won't in fact be staying with the fam at all, for the simple reason that it will make Jae Cheol loose his mind! Love the fam, love them a lot - CAN'T LIVE WITH THEM! Especially since we've been hosting a cousin since August. We need time to ourselves and also a place we can designate as a pants-free environment.

Desk jobs make me crazy!

2006-11-08T00:16:00.000+09:00

Well, apparently I'm not cut out for a 9-5 desk job. Regardless of where I am or how many tasks I've got lined up for the day, working as an admin assistant just makes me want to ram stationary through my eyeballs to end my misery! Well that and it also makes me fat. Why? Because I am so bloody bored that the only thing to break up the monotony is to have a snack.

There you have it. I am officially looking forward to going back to the surreal world of teaching English in Korea. Sigh, I remember last year while in the midst of packing, teaching, moving and planning, all I could think of was a nice, cushy desk job that gave me lots of time to just sit around. I thought that would be the best! You know, kinda related to sitting on the couch all day except you've got to shower, dress nicely and sit up-right. Well boy was I an idiot! Now all I'm dreaming of is facing down a class full of hyper 10 year-olds who haven't done their homework. I CAN'T WAIT!

Ottawa Food and Wine Show

2006-11-07T05:59:00.000+09:00

My brother Luke came to visit us in Ottawa for the weekend and we went to the Ottawa Wine and Food Show. Lemme tell you, good times were had by me! Due to not paying attention, I invited people who couldn't come on the same days as each other. Well, naturally, the only solution was for me to go twice, once with each group of friends! (I've always been good at math!)

The food was good, but kinda overpriced. The drinks, however, yum yum.

So my mom doesn't forget what I look like

2006-11-07T05:43:00.000+09:00

I doubt I'm ever going to get past one post, if today's efforts are anything to go by. Well, we'll see if I can keep this up. I'm not really sure I'm going to enjoy the "responsibility" of blogging. Fortunately at the mo, nobody knows I've done this, so it could be a good thing, . . .