My dirty laundry

I've just been reading about hanging laundry to dry. It can apparently be quite a hot topic. Who knew? Since I'm the one who usually does the laundry for two people who have a lot of clothes but never anything to wear, the only taboo related to laundry in our house is if someone is all out of underpants. (gasp)

These days, all the cool kids seem to be talking about how clever it is to hang your laundry in order to 1)save on the electricity bill and 2)cut down on carbon emissions.

Now, I don't know about you, but when did people stop hanging up their clothes? Oh, I know, trends are always coming back into fashion but I know people who had the hairstyle the first time and persevered until they were back in style. Well, I guess I've just been the same way about hanging laundry to dry. It, um, works.

Recently I've come to discover something that I had no idea existed. It is something I have come to revile as much as littering and rudeness. Maybe even more! I have recently discovered that in some communities have elected, (chosen, hired, I don't know how they do it) groups of people who tell others who live in their communities what to do with their homes! One of the things they say is "not to be done" is HANG YOUR LAUNDRY OUT TO DRY!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously!

I assume that the idea is something to do with "unmentionables". I know, I know, how gauche and unsightly. However, I do wonder where these people think that clean clothes come from? The Laundry Fairy?

Pardon my ignorance, but I really do want to know what the consequences are for blatantly defying laundry guidelines and hanging your wet clothes willy-nilly in your very own backyard. What do these communities have to fear from their LAUNDRY POLICE? Is it possible, for example, to get off scot-free if, some unforeseen freak of nature cuts the power at the exact moment you were about to pull your wet laundry from the machine to put into the dryer and you happened to have a spare clothes line hanging around from days of yore.

I'm going to go so far as to spread the word that the idea of Laundry Police forbidding clothes lines in back yards actually decreases the property value of those homes. I don't know anyone would buy a home in one of these communities where they have to put up with this sort of nonsense. It's laundry, you hang it up to dry. It's not the end of the world. Get over it. There are more important things in the world to concern yourself with.

What would you have done?

So, I arrive back at home yesterday morning and as I'm walking through the parking lot to my building, I see a young girl with her mother. The girl was about 13 years old and she was wearing a t-shirt with English written all over it. This is VERY POPULAR in Korea. It's friggin EVERYWHERE. Jae Cheol has recently taken to commenting about it anytime he watches a non-Korean movie or looks at a non-Korean website because of the absence of English t-shirts everywhere but Korea.

Well, yesterday I read this girl's shirt and my jaw dropped! Literally, right there in the parking lot. I went over to the mother and daughter and in stuttering Korean, because I was so shocked that I couldn't formulate a sentence, told them:

"Excuse me, your t-shirt. . . ! No, no, no! The English, it's not good. It's pervert English"

Naturally, the mother smiled and shuffled away from me because WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, CRAZY FOREIGNER? I really wanted to turn the daughter around, back to her house, make her change her clothes and confiscate her shirt. Instead, I just went to my apartment, feeling like a lunatic. Which is exactly how the mother perceived me.

The shirt said, "Everybody likes a slutty girl"

Ok, so maybe I overreacted. After all, not many people in Korea know what that means at all! But keep in mind that this was a sweet, innocent 13 year old girl. Immagine if she ever traveled abroad to an English speaking country with that t-shirt?!?!?!?! Obviously the odds of that happening are slim, but still. I told Jae Cheol when I got home and asked him if I should have just ignored it. He seemed to think that it was alright for me to have said something. After all, if someone is wearing an English t-shirt with the idea that no one will understand what it says, I have obviously just negated that idea. On the other hand, maybe I am just stuck in such an ESL Teacher rut that when I see something unusual in English, I HAVE to point it out. But I certainly wouldn't have said anything if the person wearing the shirt had been older than school age.

What would you/should I have done? (Funnily enough, I had just taught this grammar pattern that morning.)
Melanie - English Teacher

It's funny cause it's true

28 As a 1930s wife, I am Poor http://www.magatsu.net/maritaltest/">Take the test!

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Hello. Hello?

A typical phone call in Korea:

A: Hello
B: Hello?
A: Hello
B: Hello?
A: Hello
B: Hello?

It can go on like this for hours! Somebody, somewhere must have a record of how many times this has gone on. I think it's like 12 or 14 or something.

Am I the only one who thinks this is crazy? I mean seriously, if YOU call ME then you bloody well better spit out what you're wanted to say or I'm going to hang up! This happened to me yesterday and today. Two different phone calls. Who's giving my phone number to idiots?

Ah, my old nemisis, Juice!

I hate juice. I really do. I rarely drink it. It's too sweet and it's too thick. It does not quench my thirst. I hate juice.

It's summer and very hot these days. All of the mothers at the houses that I visit are very sweet. We chat, we smile, we joke. They serve me juice! EVERY! SINGLE! MOTHER! I'm not joking. That's at least four glasses of juice a day. That's more empty juice calories than a fat girl needs.

Not only do I get juice, but usually the children do too. Great. Guess what happens to the juice the children drink. They choke on it, they blow bubbles in it, they spill it on me, they spill it on my stuff. They rarely spill it on themselves or each other.

I hate juice, but at least everyone has stopped feeding me! I used to get fed at every house. Now I only get juice.

Read to the end

I discovered the most fantastic thing today and all I had to do to find this lovely thing is take all my clothes off! (Keep reading)

The only reason I haven't found out before now is that I was shy. I was expecting people to stare at me and to feel really uncomfortable. It wasn't that bad and I'm going to do it again soon, cause it was great. (Keep reading)

I went to the gym today and instead of coming home to shower, which I usually do, I used the bath house at the gym. Public bathing in Korea is hugely popular and is more often than not, a social activity. I've gone a couple of times with my in-laws, (just the girls,) and once or twice with friends. Since I'm Canadian I wasn't immediately comfortable about the public nudity and since I'm Canadian and quite fat, I don't blend in as much as I'd like to when I'm naked in a public bath house in Korea.

Well, today I decided to just bloody do it, it's only a shower after all. Since it's so incredibly hot now, I couldn't imagine walking home from the gym in the HOT sun covered in sweat which is what I did previously. Well guess what I found? Korean bath houses have different tubs with water of different temperatures, usually three: hot, really hot and really cold. Well, to my delight, the really cold tub was HUGE. Longer than my parents' swimming pool! I did laps! My body temperature finally went down to normal temperatures. It was fantastic. Not only that, but someone actually smiled at me while I was there! Take that! As a result, I'm in love with the gym and more importantly, the bath house. I'm going again on Wednesday.

Super Melanie

If I was a superhero, my power would almost certainly be an incredible, unwavering power to complain non-stop. I really do believe in "if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all" The problem with this though, is that now I have absolutely nothing to say.

I have tonsillitis - maybe

So, I went to the doctor, finally, again and I told him I had a sore throat for two weeks. He looked in my throat. Then I asked if I should be tested for strep throat. He said he couldn't do it there. Ok. Where? A general hospital. Ok. (I have no idea what that means.)

I told him my glands hurt, or rather, showed him. Actually, that's the only place that hurts and I was surprised that he didn't check after looking in my throat. He explained that something, something lymph glands, something something tonsillitis. I asked if I had tonsillitis. He sort of laughed (or did he say yes?) Then he said "medicine, two days" with no further instructions. When I picked up my prescription from the nurse, she said if I feel better after two days, not to come back.

I DON'T GET IT! If I have something resembling tonsillitis, do they really believe it will be cured with TWO DAYS WORTH OF MEDICATION?

Oh, wait a minute. . . . I think I may finally have the answer! It must be MAGIC MEDICINE! Yes, yes, that's it!

Aarggh, grrrr

Am I sick or am I just lazy? Seriously, I can't quite tell although, I think I might be a little of both. I don't feel really rotten. I just have a sore (kind of) throat and I'm lazy. There you go, those are my symptoms, so you can tell why I'm not quite sure. Or can you? (ha ha a little ambiguity joke)

Smile

I had the best Sunday in recent memory yesterday and today, I joined a gym, went to yoga, made a new friend and was pleasant to all of my students today.
I am a superstar.
More sunshine and sparkles to follow . . .