Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Living in a homogeneous society

I went to the gym this morning and really enjoyed myself. I felt good emotionally and physically. As I was walking down the stairs after work today, a middle-school boy I don't know walked behind me singing, "it's the Big Show" over and over again.

Being a foreigner in Korea means that people stare and comment about me on a daily basis. Being an overweight foreigner means that people occasionally say nasty hurtful things to me. It's very hard to take. I don't know how long I want to stay in Korea now. I am a good person and this repeated verbal abuse that I receive regularily is just not worth it. It makes me defensive and nasty. I don't recognize myself in how angry I have become. When I listen to myself speak to other people in my day to day life, I know that they are hearing a bitter, nasty person.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh Melanie... I hope this is merely a bump in the road for you...I've felt the anger too.
Hang in there!

Melissa said...

This is what I thought - pretty much in order:

- Rat bastards.

- You're beautiful, Melanie! Really. Not an ugly thing about you.

- You have legs that I would sacrifice a finger and three toes and my perfect teeth for!

- Consider that kid's rudeness to be a symptom of youth and stupidity and shitty role models, not Korean-ness.

- We love you.

- Um, are you EVER going to call me? I've called you the past 3 or 4 times - and I'm BUSIER!!!

See you soon, right?

melanie ajumma said...

You see, this is the stuff that I need to remember. This is reality. I love you guys too.

Melissa, I'll call you right now!

Anonymous said...

I have to tell you that it is nice to hear that others get just as frustrated. I have a Korean boyfriend and have been asked if I am a Russian prostitute when walking with him!
I know how you feel - and have the burn in the belly to prove it!