In another example of random stupidity, today my co-worker said, as we were blowing up balloons for halloween, "You know, this is really good for losing weight."
WTF?
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
May I take your order?
I've gotten a Costco card and have made a few (four hour, round trip) forays into Costco in Daegu to get my delicious and necessary foreign foods. Hey, if I'm doing the cooking, we better have industrial size jars of spaghetti sauce and whatever else catches my fancy whilst shopping.
During the most recent trip, I ate in the ugly little food court, which is always jam-packed. The food is the same, (I'm assuming,) as in the Costco food courts at home. I assume this because it is standard foreign food court fare. There is one twist however, and it has nothing to do with Costco's attempt to be culturally sensitive, or to appeal to the Korean market. This difference is onions.
What are you talking about Melanie?
Here it is:
Costco serves delicious-looking hot dogs in their food court. Not everyone likes onions on their hot dogs, so there is the option to help yourself to the onions. The onions are available from a very nifty looking machine which has a handle that you crank to chop the whole onion into little, hot dog friendly sized bits. (Am I being too technical?)
Here's a bit of background information on Korean meals. Korean meals consist of main dishes and side dishes which all come in their own separate dish and are served at the same time and eaten communally. (You get your own rice. Don't touch anyone else's rice.) Korean meals always have something sour to eat with their meal and quite often, there are certain side dishes that are always served with a particular meal. For example, you ALWAYS get a little dish of pickles when you order pizza. ALWAYS. I don't know who decided that pickles were going to be it for pizza, but there you go. It has been decided and therefore, it is so. ALWAYS. In fact, if the pizza people forgot the pickles, you would phone them back to let them know that they were missing which would result in a separate, apologetic delivery of pickles.
Well, although Costco food seems to be palatable to the shopping masses in Daegu which is evident by the crowded food court, Costco and Korea have a little misunderstanding. Costco doesn't know about the side dishes and from what I've seen, many people will not put up with no side dishes. What has resulted is this: patrons of the Costco food court have taken matters into their own hands and are eating POUNDS AND POUNDS OF ONIONS BECAUSE COSTCO DOESN'T HAVE PICKLES WITH IT'S PIZZA.
Yes, it's true. More than one person has stood at the nifty onion machine and cranked out more than their share of onion bits, (meant for hot dogs, as previously mentioned,) onto a large plate for consumption as a side dish. It's insanity and I wonder if it really is necessary. It also leads to a second question which is, what would these same people not eat? I mean, seriously, if there was a little machine there that served something like, oh I don't know, . . . fingernails, and there were no pickles, would the fingernails be gobbled up as quickly? I even saw one table with their onions covered in mustard. Not just a dollop, mind you, I'm talking marinated, coated and smothered. That, to me is an obvious sign of someone saying, "Well, I did the best I could, . . . "
Everytime I think of this ridiculous situation, I really do smile and laugh a little to myself and the reason for it is the misunderstanding. Being a foreigner, I am therefore the resident example and expert and for all things foreign. I am frequently astounded at how easily assumptions are made. (Yes, I know I do it too and I am making an effort not to play the "us and them" game.) This example, I am CERTAIN, has given someone an opinion about something to do with foreigners/foreign food/foreign onions or whatever. The hilarity of the situation, (to me,) is that I can almost see it in cartoon form: a western costco employee staring down a patron of the food court, eating their most delicious onions and a little bubble over each of their heads reading, "What the fuck are you thinking?!?!?!"
Who knows, maybe you have to live here to appreciate it.
During the most recent trip, I ate in the ugly little food court, which is always jam-packed. The food is the same, (I'm assuming,) as in the Costco food courts at home. I assume this because it is standard foreign food court fare. There is one twist however, and it has nothing to do with Costco's attempt to be culturally sensitive, or to appeal to the Korean market. This difference is onions.
What are you talking about Melanie?
Here it is:
Costco serves delicious-looking hot dogs in their food court. Not everyone likes onions on their hot dogs, so there is the option to help yourself to the onions. The onions are available from a very nifty looking machine which has a handle that you crank to chop the whole onion into little, hot dog friendly sized bits. (Am I being too technical?)
Here's a bit of background information on Korean meals. Korean meals consist of main dishes and side dishes which all come in their own separate dish and are served at the same time and eaten communally. (You get your own rice. Don't touch anyone else's rice.) Korean meals always have something sour to eat with their meal and quite often, there are certain side dishes that are always served with a particular meal. For example, you ALWAYS get a little dish of pickles when you order pizza. ALWAYS. I don't know who decided that pickles were going to be it for pizza, but there you go. It has been decided and therefore, it is so. ALWAYS. In fact, if the pizza people forgot the pickles, you would phone them back to let them know that they were missing which would result in a separate, apologetic delivery of pickles.
Well, although Costco food seems to be palatable to the shopping masses in Daegu which is evident by the crowded food court, Costco and Korea have a little misunderstanding. Costco doesn't know about the side dishes and from what I've seen, many people will not put up with no side dishes. What has resulted is this: patrons of the Costco food court have taken matters into their own hands and are eating POUNDS AND POUNDS OF ONIONS BECAUSE COSTCO DOESN'T HAVE PICKLES WITH IT'S PIZZA.
Yes, it's true. More than one person has stood at the nifty onion machine and cranked out more than their share of onion bits, (meant for hot dogs, as previously mentioned,) onto a large plate for consumption as a side dish. It's insanity and I wonder if it really is necessary. It also leads to a second question which is, what would these same people not eat? I mean, seriously, if there was a little machine there that served something like, oh I don't know, . . . fingernails, and there were no pickles, would the fingernails be gobbled up as quickly? I even saw one table with their onions covered in mustard. Not just a dollop, mind you, I'm talking marinated, coated and smothered. That, to me is an obvious sign of someone saying, "Well, I did the best I could, . . . "
Everytime I think of this ridiculous situation, I really do smile and laugh a little to myself and the reason for it is the misunderstanding. Being a foreigner, I am therefore the resident example and expert and for all things foreign. I am frequently astounded at how easily assumptions are made. (Yes, I know I do it too and I am making an effort not to play the "us and them" game.) This example, I am CERTAIN, has given someone an opinion about something to do with foreigners/foreign food/foreign onions or whatever. The hilarity of the situation, (to me,) is that I can almost see it in cartoon form: a western costco employee staring down a patron of the food court, eating their most delicious onions and a little bubble over each of their heads reading, "What the fuck are you thinking?!?!?!"
Who knows, maybe you have to live here to appreciate it.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Quit your whining!
When we were in Canada, my dad taught Jae Cheol a very valuable phrase which he has since repeated to me over a thousand times. That very useful and helpful phrase is, "Don't be a wussy."
Yes, that's right, "Don't be a wussy." I silently thank my father every time I hear it from my husband's mouth. (That is, if you can call rolling your eyes a thank you.) Well, no more! I'm finally, for the first time in my life, going to take their very helpful advice and stop being a wussy. That's right, no more whining! Why this sudden about face, you ask? Well, I don't know if it's the weather, (I prefer fall to the painful humidity of summer,) or if I'm finally going insane. But hey, I'm just going to (try to) suck it up and be more positive. My life really is pretty good. It's not perfect, but hey for goodness sake, I feel priviledged to be happy, healthy, loved, in love, working, clothed and fed. I'm one of the luckiest girls on the planet if you ask me.
I'm even going to stop giving the people the finger while driving! A lofty goal, indeed.
Yes, that's right, "Don't be a wussy." I silently thank my father every time I hear it from my husband's mouth. (That is, if you can call rolling your eyes a thank you.) Well, no more! I'm finally, for the first time in my life, going to take their very helpful advice and stop being a wussy. That's right, no more whining! Why this sudden about face, you ask? Well, I don't know if it's the weather, (I prefer fall to the painful humidity of summer,) or if I'm finally going insane. But hey, I'm just going to (try to) suck it up and be more positive. My life really is pretty good. It's not perfect, but hey for goodness sake, I feel priviledged to be happy, healthy, loved, in love, working, clothed and fed. I'm one of the luckiest girls on the planet if you ask me.
I'm even going to stop giving the people the finger while driving! A lofty goal, indeed.
Look at this little boy, he's cute right? Well, it turns out that he's also rather sneaky.
Recently, when his grandfather, (my father-in-law) was visiting and went out into the hall to have a cigarette. While he was out there, Dong Jun went to the door, closed it and locked it! That's right! Take that, grandfather! This is my house and I want you out! Hilarious.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Homework Assignment
Yes, it's true. I haven't updated this blog for at least 75 thousand years. Why, you ask. Well it's because it feels too much like homework. Yes, that's right, HOMEWORK! I'm a teacher, I know all about homework but it appears that I can dish it out, but I CAN'T TAKE IT! (Don't tell my students!)
And, I'm a whiner. I don't have anything to say because I can't think of anything nice to say. It's true. Call me, go ahead. I have nothing to say unless you want to hear me whining. That's why I don't talk on the phone. Or email. I apologize. I am boring. The most exciting thing in my life these days is that I got the laundry done and actually cooked something. Yes, it's true I miraculously accomplished both of these things! And I DON'T EVEN HAVE CHILDREN to slow me down!
This leads me to my next question, how does anybody do it? Are people not sleeping? Do people have those magical elves that helped the shoemaker, and they're not telling me how to get them? The elves would scoff at me and run off to help those more deserving, with bigger shopping lists and piles of laundry.
So, to all of you out there in the world with lives and hobbies, friends and children, my hat is off to you! You are my heroes, idols and my superiors! I am humbled by your great deeds and envious of your superhero-like strength. You are amazing.
In other news, I did get a chance to visit Melissa, Hayden and Dong Jin last weekend. It was fantastic. And ridiculous. I am no longer allowed to travel by myself however because when I attempted to return to Ulsan, I mistakenly 1)missed my train because I was shopping, and then 2) got on the wrong train when I got my new ticket. Not wrong train as in, wrong direction, thank goodness but wrong as in slow and not the super-fast KTX. I am train-impaired. Bus I can handle, but not the train. I give up.
In other, other news, I am an aunt again! It's wonderful. Being an aunt is totally my speed. I am the favorite because I always have small toys in my bag when I visit. Sadly, my fame does have it's limits, as illustrated by this conversation a few weeks ago when I visited Dong Jun:
Jae Cheol: "Dong Jun, who do you like more, mom or Melanie?"
Dong Jun: "Melanie"
Jae Cheol: "who do you like more, dad or Melanie?"
Dong Jun: "Melanie"
Jae Cheol: "why do you like Melanie?"
Dong Jun: shrug, "cars" (I bought him some cars at the dollar store)
Jae Cheol: "who do you like more, Melanie or Power Rangers?"
Dong Jun: looking from side to side with a sheepish look "Power Rangers"
CURSES! THOSE POWER RANGERS HAVE FOILED ME YET AGAIN!
Here is my NEW NEPHEW whom I intend to spoil as much as possible. He doesn't have a name yet but Dong Jun likes me more than him, too.
On Saturday I walk into a washroom in a public building, that I have used before and definitely know which one is the ladies and therefore the one I should use. As I walk in, a lady starts shouting something. I think she is shouting, "Is this the women's washroom?" She shouts twice. I walk into the only stall and discover that it doesn't lock, so I walk out of the bathroom to go to the other one upstairs. As I leave, I point out to the shouter, the sign on the door that says "women" thinking that I'm being helpful. As I look at her, she says, "oh, you're a girl."
It turns out that she had been shouting, "That is the women's washroom!" to me, who she thought was a man.
Thanks, lady. I'm going to begin growing my hair tomorrow.
My question is, should I be insulted or should Korean men? After all, I'm not terribly masculine and if I can be mistaken for a man, what does that say about the masculinity and fashion choices of young Korean men? HA, take that!
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