I have tonsillitis - maybe

So, I went to the doctor, finally, again and I told him I had a sore throat for two weeks. He looked in my throat. Then I asked if I should be tested for strep throat. He said he couldn't do it there. Ok. Where? A general hospital. Ok. (I have no idea what that means.)

I told him my glands hurt, or rather, showed him. Actually, that's the only place that hurts and I was surprised that he didn't check after looking in my throat. He explained that something, something lymph glands, something something tonsillitis. I asked if I had tonsillitis. He sort of laughed (or did he say yes?) Then he said "medicine, two days" with no further instructions. When I picked up my prescription from the nurse, she said if I feel better after two days, not to come back.

I DON'T GET IT! If I have something resembling tonsillitis, do they really believe it will be cured with TWO DAYS WORTH OF MEDICATION?

Oh, wait a minute. . . . I think I may finally have the answer! It must be MAGIC MEDICINE! Yes, yes, that's it!

Aarggh, grrrr

Am I sick or am I just lazy? Seriously, I can't quite tell although, I think I might be a little of both. I don't feel really rotten. I just have a sore (kind of) throat and I'm lazy. There you go, those are my symptoms, so you can tell why I'm not quite sure. Or can you? (ha ha a little ambiguity joke)

Smile

I had the best Sunday in recent memory yesterday and today, I joined a gym, went to yoga, made a new friend and was pleasant to all of my students today.
I am a superstar.
More sunshine and sparkles to follow . . .

Married, yes. Children, no.

People keep asking me if I have kids. If I ever do anything the least bit unusual, people who know me ask if I'm pregnant. It's starting to crack me up. I think I may start doing stuff just to fuck with their minds. I'm not sure what yet, but I've got to come up with something. This is an opportunity that cannot be passed up.

Last night, I couldn't sleep because I had so many fantastic thoughts, plans, schemes, things not to forget (but don't worry, how could I forget this, it's brilliant), in my head.

This morning, I have no idea what any of it was.

Come on brain! Don't quit on me now!!!!!!!

I'm sick. I have a sore throat, so I went to the doctor just in case. Well, the doctor looked in my throat and up my nose and proceeded to write me a prescription for TWO DAYS worth of antibiotics. Then he told me that if I take the medication and feel better, then I don't need to continue.

WTF????????

Every time I go to the doctor's for an illness, this is the kind of treatment I get. "Take this medicine for three days and come back if you don't feel any better." Stupid!

I've decided not to take the medicine at all.

I'm sick, so I'm not any more eloquent than that.

The end.

Personal Best

Yes, yes, yes, long time no post, yadda yadda yadda.

Last Thursday I inadvertently caused two kids, in two different classes to blow drinks out of their noses. A personal best.

Ulsan, South Korea an environmental abomination! I recently saw a banner declaring "Automobile Day" for something like May 16-19. Way to go Ulsan! I'm not sure exactly what will be happening on Automobile Day but title just brings images to mind of a campaign where people are encouraged to just get out there and drive. Even if you don't have any where to go, you can turn on the car and rev it a little bit.

I'm always delighted by Ulsan's attempts un-PC attempts to promote culture with it's festivals and special days: Environment in trouble? Well, lets have an automobile day. People love driving their cars, don't they? It's convenient. Whaling a sore issue? Well, lets have a festival celebrating our whaling heritage. We'll hold it at our Whale Museum, which, don't let the name fool you, it's not actually about whales, is about catching them and eating them.

My parents are coming to Ulsan at the end of May for two weeks. It's gonna blow their minds! Now, I'm gonna go out and drive around in preparation for automobile day!

The latest craze

In another example of random stupidity, today my co-worker said, as we were blowing up balloons for halloween, "You know, this is really good for losing weight."

WTF?

May I take your order?

I've gotten a Costco card and have made a few (four hour, round trip) forays into Costco in Daegu to get my delicious and necessary foreign foods. Hey, if I'm doing the cooking, we better have industrial size jars of spaghetti sauce and whatever else catches my fancy whilst shopping.
During the most recent trip, I ate in the ugly little food court, which is always jam-packed. The food is the same, (I'm assuming,) as in the Costco food courts at home. I assume this because it is standard foreign food court fare. There is one twist however, and it has nothing to do with Costco's attempt to be culturally sensitive, or to appeal to the Korean market. This difference is onions.
What are you talking about Melanie?
Here it is:
Costco serves delicious-looking hot dogs in their food court. Not everyone likes onions on their hot dogs, so there is the option to help yourself to the onions. The onions are available from a very nifty looking machine which has a handle that you crank to chop the whole onion into little, hot dog friendly sized bits. (Am I being too technical?)

Here's a bit of background information on Korean meals. Korean meals consist of main dishes and side dishes which all come in their own separate dish and are served at the same time and eaten communally. (You get your own rice. Don't touch anyone else's rice.) Korean meals always have something sour to eat with their meal and quite often, there are certain side dishes that are always served with a particular meal. For example, you ALWAYS get a little dish of pickles when you order pizza. ALWAYS. I don't know who decided that pickles were going to be it for pizza, but there you go. It has been decided and therefore, it is so. ALWAYS. In fact, if the pizza people forgot the pickles, you would phone them back to let them know that they were missing which would result in a separate, apologetic delivery of pickles.

Well, although Costco food seems to be palatable to the shopping masses in Daegu which is evident by the crowded food court, Costco and Korea have a little misunderstanding. Costco doesn't know about the side dishes and from what I've seen, many people will not put up with no side dishes. What has resulted is this: patrons of the Costco food court have taken matters into their own hands and are eating POUNDS AND POUNDS OF ONIONS BECAUSE COSTCO DOESN'T HAVE PICKLES WITH IT'S PIZZA.

Yes, it's true. More than one person has stood at the nifty onion machine and cranked out more than their share of onion bits, (meant for hot dogs, as previously mentioned,) onto a large plate for consumption as a side dish. It's insanity and I wonder if it really is necessary. It also leads to a second question which is, what would these same people not eat? I mean, seriously, if there was a little machine there that served something like, oh I don't know, . . . fingernails, and there were no pickles, would the fingernails be gobbled up as quickly? I even saw one table with their onions covered in mustard. Not just a dollop, mind you, I'm talking marinated, coated and smothered. That, to me is an obvious sign of someone saying, "Well, I did the best I could, . . . "

Everytime I think of this ridiculous situation, I really do smile and laugh a little to myself and the reason for it is the misunderstanding. Being a foreigner, I am therefore the resident example and expert and for all things foreign. I am frequently astounded at how easily assumptions are made. (Yes, I know I do it too and I am making an effort not to play the "us and them" game.) This example, I am CERTAIN, has given someone an opinion about something to do with foreigners/foreign food/foreign onions or whatever. The hilarity of the situation, (to me,) is that I can almost see it in cartoon form: a western costco employee staring down a patron of the food court, eating their most delicious onions and a little bubble over each of their heads reading, "What the fuck are you thinking?!?!?!"

Who knows, maybe you have to live here to appreciate it.

Quit your whining!

When we were in Canada, my dad taught Jae Cheol a very valuable phrase which he has since repeated to me over a thousand times. That very useful and helpful phrase is, "Don't be a wussy."


Yes, that's right, "Don't be a wussy." I silently thank my father every time I hear it from my husband's mouth. (That is, if you can call rolling your eyes a thank you.) Well, no more! I'm finally, for the first time in my life, going to take their very helpful advice and stop being a wussy. That's right, no more whining! Why this sudden about face, you ask? Well, I don't know if it's the weather, (I prefer fall to the painful humidity of summer,) or if I'm finally going insane. But hey, I'm just going to (try to) suck it up and be more positive. My life really is pretty good. It's not perfect, but hey for goodness sake, I feel priviledged to be happy, healthy, loved, in love, working, clothed and fed. I'm one of the luckiest girls on the planet if you ask me.


I'm even going to stop giving the people the finger while driving! A lofty goal, indeed.

Look at this little boy, he's cute right? Well, it turns out that he's also rather sneaky.

Recently, when his grandfather, (my father-in-law) was visiting and went out into the hall to have a cigarette. While he was out there, Dong Jun went to the door, closed it and locked it! That's right! Take that, grandfather! This is my house and I want you out! Hilarious.

Homework Assignment

Yes, it's true. I haven't updated this blog for at least 75 thousand years. Why, you ask. Well it's because it feels too much like homework. Yes, that's right, HOMEWORK! I'm a teacher, I know all about homework but it appears that I can dish it out, but I CAN'T TAKE IT! (Don't tell my students!)

And, I'm a whiner. I don't have anything to say because I can't think of anything nice to say. It's true. Call me, go ahead. I have nothing to say unless you want to hear me whining. That's why I don't talk on the phone. Or email. I apologize. I am boring. The most exciting thing in my life these days is that I got the laundry done and actually cooked something. Yes, it's true I miraculously accomplished both of these things! And I DON'T EVEN HAVE CHILDREN to slow me down!

This leads me to my next question, how does anybody do it? Are people not sleeping? Do people have those magical elves that helped the shoemaker, and they're not telling me how to get them? The elves would scoff at me and run off to help those more deserving, with bigger shopping lists and piles of laundry.

So, to all of you out there in the world with lives and hobbies, friends and children, my hat is off to you! You are my heroes, idols and my superiors! I am humbled by your great deeds and envious of your superhero-like strength. You are amazing.

In other news, I did get a chance to visit Melissa, Hayden and Dong Jin last weekend. It was fantastic. And ridiculous. I am no longer allowed to travel by myself however because when I attempted to return to Ulsan, I mistakenly 1)missed my train because I was shopping, and then 2) got on the wrong train when I got my new ticket. Not wrong train as in, wrong direction, thank goodness but wrong as in slow and not the super-fast KTX. I am train-impaired. Bus I can handle, but not the train. I give up.

In other, other news, I am an aunt again! It's wonderful. Being an aunt is totally my speed. I am the favorite because I always have small toys in my bag when I visit. Sadly, my fame does have it's limits, as illustrated by this conversation a few weeks ago when I visited Dong Jun:

Jae Cheol: "Dong Jun, who do you like more, mom or Melanie?"

Dong Jun: "Melanie"

Jae Cheol: "who do you like more, dad or Melanie?"

Dong Jun: "Melanie"

Jae Cheol: "why do you like Melanie?"

Dong Jun: shrug, "cars" (I bought him some cars at the dollar store)

Jae Cheol: "who do you like more, Melanie or Power Rangers?"

Dong Jun: looking from side to side with a sheepish look "Power Rangers"

CURSES! THOSE POWER RANGERS HAVE FOILED ME YET AGAIN!

Here is my NEW NEPHEW whom I intend to spoil as much as possible. He doesn't have a name yet but Dong Jun likes me more than him, too.

Oh, one more thing. Funny story:

On Saturday I walk into a washroom in a public building, that I have used before and definitely know which one is the ladies and therefore the one I should use. As I walk in, a lady starts shouting something. I think she is shouting, "Is this the women's washroom?" She shouts twice. I walk into the only stall and discover that it doesn't lock, so I walk out of the bathroom to go to the other one upstairs. As I leave, I point out to the shouter, the sign on the door that says "women" thinking that I'm being helpful. As I look at her, she says, "oh, you're a girl."

It turns out that she had been shouting, "That is the women's washroom!" to me, who she thought was a man.

Thanks, lady. I'm going to begin growing my hair tomorrow.

My question is, should I be insulted or should Korean men? After all, I'm not terribly masculine and if I can be mistaken for a man, what does that say about the masculinity and fashion choices of young Korean men? HA, take that!

Ch-ching

Uh-oh, Jae Cheol's mother thinks we're rich. I knew the whole family thought so when we came back from Canada. After all, we had just traveled a lot and Jae Cheol had spent the year studying instead of working. Jae Cheol's mom though, the other day when he was talking about renting an apartment here eventually, said something like, "That's going to be quite expensive, maybe Melanie has a secret stash of cash somewhere!"

Oh shit.

I've asked him to explain the concept of our budgeting to her. He probably won't. I don't like this misconception, it could be dangerous and it makes me uncomfortable.

In other news, I am more and more in love with my nephew every time I see him. He calls me "Meyani", he says "no" in English and he can use the internet unaided! He's two and a half!

I'm already there

I read a CBC article about the European Space Agency looking for volunteers to go on a simulated voyage to Mars. Part of the article describing what will happen on the voyage made me wonder if people were watching me. It's as if they were talking about my life in Korea! I need to get out more!

Weightlessness and radiation are not included, but the simulated
out-of-planet experience offers isolation, confinement, crowding, lack of
privacy, high workload, boredom with available food, and limited communication
with family, friends and mission control.

Nothing exciting, just chickens

Actually, I don't think there's anything else interesting about this story. (That could, however, be because I've been in Korea for a long time.)

The chickens belong to our neighbor/owner of the building. They are being raised on the roof I can hear them peeping and it makes me giggle everytime.

In the spring, children sometimes come home with baby chicks because people wait outside their school and sell them for the equivalent of 50 cents. And who can resist a baby chick? Not children with money in their pockets, that's for sure. Why just a few weeks ago I saw a student outside of the school down the hall from mine hanging up her clear plastic bag full of baby chick, on the bulletin board to be picked up after class.

Who am I to judge? My brother used to keep frogs in his pocket and once put on in a jar in the fridge. Dunno why, he just did.

Jae Cheol opened our apartment door today and said, "Oh! Chickens."
This is what he saw:

You may think I'm joking

There are many differences between Korea and Canada, not least of all in the education system, (don't get me started!). Here is a striking example: our new Korean teacher, pinches the children's nipples if they don't do their homework. Not sure about the girls, but definitely the boys.

I KID YOU NOT!

I've been doing some thinking, . . .

One of my (favorite) classes has a special technique that they use when they're asking me for a favor. If we have an extra five minutes or if they particularily don't want to do something, they have learned the art of asking nicely. It goes something like this:

"Teacher, let's play Uno!"
"Well, I don't know, we still have five minutes, . . . "
"Please, pretty Tinkerbell!"

I'm not joking, they really say that! We a request like that, how can I refuse?!

I was watching tv the other day and I happened to see a program on the English language Korean channel. It was an interview with two Psychology professors discussing psycho-analysis. They inevitably talked about the recent shooting at Virginia Tech and how psycho-analysis could or could not have predicted the shooting. One of the interviewees mentioned that one of the warning signs was when the shooter closed himself off from society and stopped communicating with others. He said something about how when this happens, it's a sign that an individual is no longer socialized to the environment around him. (It was something like this. I can't, obviously, remember the exact wording and professionals may be laughing their heads off/rolling in their graves as I type.)

Anyway, as a result of the show, I decided to get off my arse and actively pursue a social life. When Jae Cheol is working at nights, I come home and spend a lonely night by myself. Well, no more! One of the consequences of a language barrier is a feeling of isolation or separation from the rest of society. When the only interaction I have with Koreans is negative, (see previous post,) it is easy to feel picked on and persecuted. Well, I obviously can't change their behaviour, but I can change mine, which will in turn, affect how I react to assholes. In short, I am going on the assumption that if I am happier, I won't be as bothered when people are jerks. Well, we'll see about that.

Living in a homogeneous society

I went to the gym this morning and really enjoyed myself. I felt good emotionally and physically. As I was walking down the stairs after work today, a middle-school boy I don't know walked behind me singing, "it's the Big Show" over and over again.

Being a foreigner in Korea means that people stare and comment about me on a daily basis. Being an overweight foreigner means that people occasionally say nasty hurtful things to me. It's very hard to take. I don't know how long I want to stay in Korea now. I am a good person and this repeated verbal abuse that I receive regularily is just not worth it. It makes me defensive and nasty. I don't recognize myself in how angry I have become. When I listen to myself speak to other people in my day to day life, I know that they are hearing a bitter, nasty person.

Possibly the funniest thing I've ever heard.

"Teacher, who is Jae Cheol?"

"My husband."

"Teacher, married?"

"Yes."

"Teacher, baby?"

"No."

"Teacher, why? When married?"

"2005."

"What? Teacher, why no baby? You're really married?"

Baby in the house

My tiny little sweetie pie and his mom came to visit us at our place.



He touched everything, rounded up anything that was brightly coloured and put it in a bag because it was now his. I couldn't believe the carnage and had to have a nap after he left.

The next day I woke up and I missed him already. He's perfect. I taught him how to use a water gun! This is what qualifies me as an aunt and not a mum.