I'm already there

I read a CBC article about the European Space Agency looking for volunteers to go on a simulated voyage to Mars. Part of the article describing what will happen on the voyage made me wonder if people were watching me. It's as if they were talking about my life in Korea! I need to get out more!

Weightlessness and radiation are not included, but the simulated
out-of-planet experience offers isolation, confinement, crowding, lack of
privacy, high workload, boredom with available food, and limited communication
with family, friends and mission control.

Nothing exciting, just chickens

Actually, I don't think there's anything else interesting about this story. (That could, however, be because I've been in Korea for a long time.)

The chickens belong to our neighbor/owner of the building. They are being raised on the roof I can hear them peeping and it makes me giggle everytime.

In the spring, children sometimes come home with baby chicks because people wait outside their school and sell them for the equivalent of 50 cents. And who can resist a baby chick? Not children with money in their pockets, that's for sure. Why just a few weeks ago I saw a student outside of the school down the hall from mine hanging up her clear plastic bag full of baby chick, on the bulletin board to be picked up after class.

Who am I to judge? My brother used to keep frogs in his pocket and once put on in a jar in the fridge. Dunno why, he just did.

Jae Cheol opened our apartment door today and said, "Oh! Chickens."
This is what he saw:

You may think I'm joking

There are many differences between Korea and Canada, not least of all in the education system, (don't get me started!). Here is a striking example: our new Korean teacher, pinches the children's nipples if they don't do their homework. Not sure about the girls, but definitely the boys.

I KID YOU NOT!

I've been doing some thinking, . . .

One of my (favorite) classes has a special technique that they use when they're asking me for a favor. If we have an extra five minutes or if they particularily don't want to do something, they have learned the art of asking nicely. It goes something like this:

"Teacher, let's play Uno!"
"Well, I don't know, we still have five minutes, . . . "
"Please, pretty Tinkerbell!"

I'm not joking, they really say that! We a request like that, how can I refuse?!

I was watching tv the other day and I happened to see a program on the English language Korean channel. It was an interview with two Psychology professors discussing psycho-analysis. They inevitably talked about the recent shooting at Virginia Tech and how psycho-analysis could or could not have predicted the shooting. One of the interviewees mentioned that one of the warning signs was when the shooter closed himself off from society and stopped communicating with others. He said something about how when this happens, it's a sign that an individual is no longer socialized to the environment around him. (It was something like this. I can't, obviously, remember the exact wording and professionals may be laughing their heads off/rolling in their graves as I type.)

Anyway, as a result of the show, I decided to get off my arse and actively pursue a social life. When Jae Cheol is working at nights, I come home and spend a lonely night by myself. Well, no more! One of the consequences of a language barrier is a feeling of isolation or separation from the rest of society. When the only interaction I have with Koreans is negative, (see previous post,) it is easy to feel picked on and persecuted. Well, I obviously can't change their behaviour, but I can change mine, which will in turn, affect how I react to assholes. In short, I am going on the assumption that if I am happier, I won't be as bothered when people are jerks. Well, we'll see about that.

Living in a homogeneous society

I went to the gym this morning and really enjoyed myself. I felt good emotionally and physically. As I was walking down the stairs after work today, a middle-school boy I don't know walked behind me singing, "it's the Big Show" over and over again.

Being a foreigner in Korea means that people stare and comment about me on a daily basis. Being an overweight foreigner means that people occasionally say nasty hurtful things to me. It's very hard to take. I don't know how long I want to stay in Korea now. I am a good person and this repeated verbal abuse that I receive regularily is just not worth it. It makes me defensive and nasty. I don't recognize myself in how angry I have become. When I listen to myself speak to other people in my day to day life, I know that they are hearing a bitter, nasty person.

Possibly the funniest thing I've ever heard.

"Teacher, who is Jae Cheol?"

"My husband."

"Teacher, married?"

"Yes."

"Teacher, baby?"

"No."

"Teacher, why? When married?"

"2005."

"What? Teacher, why no baby? You're really married?"

Baby in the house

My tiny little sweetie pie and his mom came to visit us at our place.



He touched everything, rounded up anything that was brightly coloured and put it in a bag because it was now his. I couldn't believe the carnage and had to have a nap after he left.

The next day I woke up and I missed him already. He's perfect. I taught him how to use a water gun! This is what qualifies me as an aunt and not a mum.

Nah-nah-nah-nah Nah-nah-nah-nah FISHING!

It's a little lake but it's pretty. We want to get in there.

This is what the boat looks like after three trips from the car. The instructions say it only takes 10 minutes to assemble. Excellent, lets get going.

The friggin thing is huge! An hour later, we were ready to go. Damn good thing we didn't bother trying it in the apartment like we (ahem, not me, just him) suggested.

It works! We're boating AND catching fish!

The news we've all been waiting for, . . .

The agonizing wait is over. The winner is, . . .

It was so confusing because everything was in Korean

Well thank goodness for Melissa. Whenever I have a problem in Korea, she's the one to ask, since it's often the case that she's encountered it too and already figured out the solution.

Did you know, that Melissa was the first person who was nice to me in Korea? Well, it's true. After a harrowing 50 or so hours in this new and strange land, having been unceremoniously dumped, or rather, "dropped off" by my director on Thurs night and told that I start Monday, I had begun talking to myself and was convinced that another few hours might actually see me losing my mind.

The potent sewer smell, the humidity, the typhoon, the jet lag and that weird sound that I could hear coming from a neighboring apartment's ventilation duct that sounded like bicycle brakes, had all begun to take their toll. I was quickly going mad.

I had just walked to the beach, (not the lovely local you would imagine, so don't get your hopes up,) and thought I would take a chance and speak to the two white girls I saw walking there with young Korean guys. When I said, "hello, do you speak English?" and was told in reply "No." I was really confused and began walking home. On the way, I saw two other white girls walking in my direction. I nearly didn't bother saying hello, but in the end I did and thank goodness for that. When they replied that they did speak English, I burst into tears. That's when Melissa took me under her wing.

So, to make a long story short, Melissa came to the rescue once again to explain to me how to change the language from Korean to English so that I could figure out what Blogger was trying to tell me every time I wanted to post. So there. Or, so here. I am. Back.

New title, An ode to Melissa

If you think that's crazy, . . .

. . . I just saw, on tv, a show called a "fake reality show". I'm not even going to dignify that with a comment.

Once again proving my point that I am living in the land that logic forgot.

You want me to do what?

My question for you is this: Does weird shit happen at home, but I just don't realize it's weird?

Jae Cheol got a phone call today from an old friend he hadn't seen in ages. This friend needed his help, or more specifically, his wife's help. That would be me.

Apparently, the friend is getting married in July. The thing is, his fiance has an ex-boyfriend who just doesn't get it. This guy has, can you believe it, called her! Why did they need my help, you ask. Well, apparently this guy is Chinese, studying in New Zealand, which is where the girl met him. I had to call this guy to explain in English why he could no longer call the girl. I was required to explain that this message had been passed down from the girl's father. The crazy thing is that it had! Yes, that's right, the father had taken Jae Cheol's friend aside to ask him to speak to the ex-boyfriend because he wanted to "protect his family."

So I called the guy and I felt like a rat the entire time I was talking to him. Jae Cheol tried all night to talk some sense into his "friend", especially after he told us that now he doesn't trust his girlfriend and is getting back at her by having a little something on the side!

This is all too much for me. I'm going to go spend some time reading Us Magazine. Celebrity entertainment is going to be a relaxing walk in the park compared to this lunacy.

Garden variety

Plants, plants, plants. I FINALLY bought some plants. I have been meaning to do it for quite some time now, but I just didn't make it a priority. Well, now I've gone and done it. I went to a lovely greenhouse near my school and bought three plants. I've also got my eye on a dozen more . . . and a tree. I love the smell of a greenhouse. It's not so much a smell as perfect air. A house (or tiny bachelor apartment,) is not a home without plants.

From the Botanical Garden Greenhouse in Montreal.

The Finished Product

Yes, that's right, it's very bare. We didn't have much choice as to where to put the furniture due to drafty windows and cable/electricity outlets. Whatever, it's nice because there's lots of space and I don't feel squished and cramped. Now that we've "unpacked" we're probably going to have to move next weekend. Mark my words, . . .

I just finished reading Beauty Tips from Moose Jaw by Will Ferguson. I really enjoyed it. I haven't seen much of Canada and this book has planted the seeds of an idea. It's fun being a tourist in your own country, especially since Canada is bigger than most countries. The best thing about the book is that it tells you the history of the places that the author writes about. That's exactly what I want to know when I'm traveling. I'm just going to stop talking because I'm not very articulate at 9:13pm. It's time to go to bed. Read this book and read too, The Lizard Cage by Karen Connelly. It will make you cry. I also bought Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood and it is a scary book. The environment's going to hell in a handbasket and this is where we're headed. I couldn't finish it. Too scary.

Any book suggestions? I don't want fluff, I want something intelligent. (This Book Will Change Your Life notwithstanding.)

Found it

A-ha! Mr. I-don't-know-where-it-is-I-didn't-see-it-or-touch-it and I have (finally) unpacked our boxes and decorated (a little bit). It's a wonderful feeling to be able to find all of my stuff but oh my goodness do I have a lot of stuff!

In the process of unpacking etc, we came across our camera cord, surprise, surprise. It "somehow" ended up in a box on the veranda. Here are the long awaited pictures of everything important.



First of all, the ever exciting Dong Jun, 2-year-old extrodinaire!

Then Kumiko and Sung Hyuk who were in Jae Cheol's English class in Canada.

Friends of Jae Cheol's getting married. They didn't know we were back and therefore got a surprised picture of the bride saying, and I quote, "oh, Melanie!"

Just for fun, looking forward to my 31th birthday next year!

(After finding the camera cord, it was then time to look for the actual camera in our newly reorganized apartment. Do you think we could find it? No. Do you think I blamed Jae Cheol? Yes. Do you think it was actually his fault? Not this time. . .)

Random thoughts

In no particular order:

• I love my eyebrows these days
• celebrity news entertainment makes me LAUGH
• we're out of cereal, a point which I only remember when I wake up in the morning so far away from a grocery store
• everything on my computer's in Korean
• I wonder what kind of stuff there is to see and do in Hong Kong for a weekend, . . .

Hayden, glorious Hayden!

I went to visit Melissa, Dong Jin and Hayden yesterday and the baby is absolutely even perfecter in person! Seriously, she's gorgeous, hilarious and smart as a fox. Alas, no camera cord so no pictures.

I want to throw a big, fat, hysterical, kicking, screaming, crying tantrum. I am so angry and it's all my f*#%ing fault.

Our computer died in Canada but before it did, I "copied" all of our pictures onto a cd. Turns out, I didn't. It didn't happen. The cd and my computer lied. I got nothin'. Nothing.

Hence the tantrum.

F2

I forgot to mention that I got my wife-visa with no hassle. All we did was show up and present the required documents. I got the visa and my ID card ten days later. In two years I will automatically become a landed immigrant. Very exciting.